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The science of redesigning your personality

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  Writer Olga Khazan, a lifelong introvert obsessed with work, was unhappy with who she was, and so vowed to redesign her personality by living outside her comfort zone - a journey she documented in her new book, "Me, But Better."


The Science of Redesigning Your Personality: Can You Really Change Who You Are?


In an era where self-improvement is a booming industry, from mindfulness apps to life-coaching seminars, a intriguing question arises: Can you fundamentally redesign your personality? Recent psychological research suggests that the answer might be yes, challenging the long-held belief that personality is fixed like a fingerprint. This notion is explored in depth through studies and expert insights, revealing that with intentional effort, individuals can alter core traits that define how they interact with the world.

At the heart of this discussion are the Big Five personality traits, a widely accepted framework in psychology. These include openness to experience (how adventurous and creative you are), conscientiousness (your level of organization and dependability), extraversion (your sociability and energy in social settings), agreeableness (your tendency toward kindness and cooperation), and neuroticism (your proneness to negative emotions like anxiety and stress). For decades, these traits were thought to be largely stable after adolescence, influenced by genetics and early life experiences. However, emerging evidence indicates that personality is more malleable than previously believed, especially when people actively work to change it.

One key figure in this field is Nathan Hudson, a psychologist at Southern Methodist University, who has conducted groundbreaking research on volitional personality change. Hudson's studies show that people can set specific goals to shift their traits and often succeed in doing so. For instance, in one experiment, participants used a smartphone app to track their progress toward personality goals, such as becoming more extraverted by initiating conversations or more conscientious by sticking to schedules. Over several weeks, many reported measurable changes, backed by self-assessments and feedback from peers. Hudson emphasizes that while change isn't instantaneous, consistent behavioral adjustments can lead to lasting shifts. "Personality isn't set in stone," he explains. "It's more like clay that you can mold with effort."

This idea builds on broader research showing that personality evolves naturally over time. Longitudinal studies, like those from the University of Edinburgh, have tracked thousands of people across decades and found that traits like conscientiousness tend to increase with age, while neuroticism often decreases. Life events—such as starting a new job, entering a relationship, or experiencing trauma—can accelerate these changes. But the exciting part is the potential for deliberate intervention. Therapists and coaches are now incorporating personality redesign into their practices, using techniques from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help clients rewire habits.

Consider the case of extraversion. If you're naturally introverted, you might dread social gatherings, preferring quiet evenings alone. But research suggests you can boost your extraversion by practicing outgoing behaviors. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology involved participants who were instructed to act more extraverted for a week—smiling more, engaging in small talk, and attending events. Not only did their self-reported extraversion rise, but they also experienced improved mood and well-being. This aligns with the "behavior-first" approach: Change your actions, and your self-perception follows. It's akin to the "fake it till you make it" adage, but grounded in science.

On the flip side, reducing neuroticism—often linked to anxiety and emotional volatility—requires different strategies. Techniques like mindfulness meditation and journaling can help. In a meta-analysis of over 200 studies, researchers found that interventions targeting emotional regulation led to significant drops in neuroticism scores. For example, one program encouraged participants to challenge negative thought patterns daily, resulting in lower stress levels after just a few months. This is particularly relevant in today's high-stress world, where mental health challenges are rampant. By redesigning this trait, individuals report feeling more resilient and optimistic.

But how does this work on a neurological level? Brain imaging studies provide clues. Neuroscientists have observed that repeated behaviors can strengthen neural pathways, essentially rewiring the brain. For openness, exposing yourself to new experiences—like traveling or learning a skill—activates the brain's reward centers, making novelty-seeking more habitual. A study using fMRI scans showed increased activity in the prefrontal cortex among those who actively pursued openness goals, suggesting that personality change involves tangible brain adaptations.

Critics, however, caution against over-optimism. Not everyone can change equally; genetics play a role, with heritability estimates for traits like extraversion around 40-60%. Moreover, forcing change without addressing underlying issues can backfire, leading to burnout or inauthenticity. Psychologist Brent Roberts from the University of Illinois notes that while change is possible, it's often gradual and requires sustained motivation. "It's not about becoming someone else," he says, "but enhancing the best parts of who you are."

Real-world applications are already emerging. Apps like Personality Coach or Habitica gamify the process, allowing users to set trait-specific goals and track progress with reminders and rewards. In corporate settings, companies are using personality assessments to help employees develop leadership qualities, such as increasing agreeableness for better teamwork. Even in education, programs are teaching students how to build conscientiousness through study habits, potentially improving academic outcomes.

One compelling anecdote comes from a participant in Hudson's research: a shy accountant who aimed to become more extraverted for career advancement. By committing to networking events and public speaking, she not only advanced professionally but also found greater personal fulfillment. "I used to think I was just 'not a people person,'" she shared. "Now, I realize I can choose to be."

Yet, ethical questions linger. Is redesigning personality a form of self-optimization gone too far? In a society that prizes extroverted, high-achieving types, there's a risk of marginalizing those who don't fit the mold. Experts like Hudson advocate for change driven by personal desire, not external pressure. "The goal is authenticity," he stresses, "not conformity."

Looking ahead, the field is poised for more discoveries. Ongoing trials are exploring how technology, such as AI-driven coaching, can personalize personality interventions. Virtual reality simulations, for instance, could help introverts practice social skills in safe environments. As research accumulates, it challenges the deterministic view of human nature, empowering individuals to take control of their identities.

In summary, the science of redesigning personality offers hope for those seeking transformation. Whether it's boosting confidence, curbing anxiety, or embracing adventure, the evidence points to a flexible self. By understanding the mechanisms—behavioral practice, neural plasticity, and goal-setting—anyone can embark on this journey. It's a reminder that while our traits shape us, we also have the power to shape them back. This evolving field not only demystifies personality but also opens doors to a more intentional way of living, where change is not just possible, but achievable with science as our guide.

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